E3 Hangover

Posted: 06/26/2010

Do you know what’s a bad idea? Free, all-you-can-drink Absinthe. Your night becomes a scene out of a Prodigy video. But, hey, we were drinking on Microsoft’s dime! And it’s not our fault they rented out the Edison for like a week. Damn you, Green Fairy and your intoxicating elixirs.

What were we talking about? Oh, E3, where all the new games coming out in the next year are assembled — and you get to play them TODAY. The best way to enjoy E3 is to have zero responsibilities, and to be like a kid in a candy shop. But it’s a lot of work setting that up! Strategically used sick days, and calls to your well connected friends in the business. Only then can you fully enjoy the top-shelf Tanqueray martini in your hand as you watch zombie pole dancers gyrate seductively at the Dead Rising 2 party.

But what about the games? Honestly, I don’t remember playing any. I’m even having trouble remembering the name of the band I saw pictured below, but I do remember liking them. I’m sure some other sites have some excellent quality gaming coverage, but again I have this thing about having zero responsibilities during E3. Welcome back, E3, you big, overblown, crazy spectacle you!

Check out our E3 2010 gallery on our Facebook page.

Featured Products

Peel Out (banana)

A pissed-off ape with the skill to drive a car that's capable of launching an explosive turtle shell would be a terrifying thing, don't you fink?
Peel Out (black)

A pissed-off ape with the skill to drive a car that's capable of launching an explosive turtle shell would be a terrifying thing, don't you fink?
Daytonabot (blue)

"I make a lot of left turns, but I fight for what's right."

HORNET lives for speed, finding true happiness while trading paint in a crowded stock car race. Considers himself a "high-class" racer, but has no problem getting his tires dirty. Excels at hand-to-hand combat and crack shot with a light phaser. With a rolling start, he can reach speeds of 201 miles per hour.
Daytonabot (black)

"I make a lot of left turns, but I fight for what's right."

HORNET lives for speed, finding true happiness while trading paint in a crowded stock car race. Considers himself a "high-class" racer, but has no problem getting his tires dirty. Excels at hand-to-hand combat and crack shot with a light phaser. With a rolling start, he can reach speeds of 201 miles per hour.
Passing Breeze (sunshine)

Grab your girl, put the top down, crank up your favorite "Splash Wave" radio station and let the magical sound shower wash over you like a passing breeze...
Passing Breeze (white)

Grab your girl, put the top down and crank up your favorite "Splash Wave" radio station and let the magical sound shower wash over you like a passing breeze...
Ninja Magic (black)

Year three of most ninjutsu schools places a heavy emphasis on skateboarding. How else do you think Joe Musashi knew how to pull off all those sweet hoverboard moves in Return of the Ninja Master? Old Joe has no problem nailing a 720.
Ninja Magic (red)

Year three of most ninjutsu schools places a heavy emphasis on skateboarding. How else do you think Joe Musashi knew how to pull off all those sweet hoverboard moves in Return of the Ninja Master? Old Joe has no problem nailing a 720.
Snack Attack (natural)

An immoderate indulgence of tasty Japanese treats, featuring the pixel art genius of Paul Robertson.
Shao Khalvin (white)

Anyone else think Kintaro looks a little too much like an anthropomorphic stuffed tiger? Maybe one that only Shao Khan can see when no one else is around? Designed by the brilliant Nina “Space Coyote” Matsumoto, comics and Kombat collide in a very weird way.
Big Money, Big Prizes (natural)

Brand new VCRs! Toasters! Riding mowers! Good meat! Cash! Prizes! Bikini-clad spokesmodels! And a NEW CAR!! I love it!!!
A. Kidd & Nikuman (red)

After scarfing down WAY too many rice balls and 'burgers in Miracle World, Alex is ready for a little something different: a pitiable but delicious little meat bun!
Drakee (orchid jersey)

Alefgardian zoologists have long wondered what lies inside the flying field bat known in ancient times as the drakee. Now we know: adorable guts!!
The Year 20XX (black)

Heavy Metal magazine and Hajime Sorayama taught us at a young age that, in the future, sexy lady robots will be the norm. Our tribute to foxy droid girls imagines one futuristic scenario in which The Guardian Legend and The Bride of Pinbot get it on.