Famima!! vs. 7-Eleven

Posted: 08/10/2007

I hate 7-Eleven. It may be the 7-Eleven smell of burnt coffee and dried Slurpee syrup that permeates your clothes and every product they sell. Or it could be the fact that the only time I have ever had a loaded gun pointed in my direction was when I was driving by a 7-Eleven. The cops were yelling for some guys to put their faces on the pavement. I just happened to be driving between. It feels like any time you are in a 7-Eleven it could go all Raising Arizona on your ass in an instant.

Meat buns!!

I wish 7-Elevens would speed up their larva phase, enter their cocoons, and emerge as beautiful winged Famima!!s. Until then I would prefer just to ignore 7-Eleven. This is hard to do, factoring in how rampant they are. Do you honestly need 5 within walking distance? And they sometimes suddenly transform into Kwik-E-Marts, which in turn makes me have to stand in line and buy things. Now 7-Elevens are taking pre-orders for the Halo 3 midnight launch. I guess this may be a good fit. You will be able to snag your Master Chief flavored Mountain Dew while you’re picking up your copy of Halo 3.

Now with laxatives!

Maybe Famima!! will hold a Folklore midnight launch…

Featured Products

  • Ninjawarrior (blood red)

    Ninjawarrior (blood red)

    This Japanese ukiyo-e print reads: A revolution broke out and everything came to an end. The troubled country seemed to be finished by the death of the wicked machines. But peace did not come. Because ninjawarriors, they are the immortal murder machines.

  • Secrets (natural)

    Secrets (natural)

    What is a man? French author, adventurer, and statesmen, Andre Malraux, knows. So does the Count himself. But enough talk, have at you!

     

  • Beheaded (black)

    Beheaded (black)

    Simon and Dracula, scaring the shit out of kids since 1988. There is not much more that needs to be said. Honestly, that about covers it.

     

  • Wizard (heather gray)

    Wizard (heather gray)

    Deep within Medusa's fortresses lies a powerful wizard who draws his power from the mystical... eggplant? Our version of this nasty purple cyclops has a little Dragonlord in him for a touch more evil.

  • Curse (eggplant)

    Curse (eggplant)

    Every night's a bad night to have a curse, but when you've been bonked with a wizard's magical eggplant and you're miles from the nearest hospital… well, that's the pits!

  • Thunderhead (golden)

    Thunderhead (golden)

    Until Yoshi starts coughing up fireballs on a more consistent basis, Mario doesn't stand a chance against Gilius Thunderhead and his trusty steed.

Share Meat Bun

Search the Site