Posts Filed Under: music

Actually, he wasn’t.  Wesley Willis only said that because it rhymed.  He also said suck a male camel’s dick with Hoisen sauce.  And he headbutted me.  Mike was there, and can confirm this is 100% true.  But I’m getting off topic.

Kurt Cobain is in Guitar Hero 5.  Think about that for a second.  Here’s a guy who had trouble buying himself a “fancy” new car  (it was a Lexus if you’re wondering, and he returned it two days later when his friends made fun of it) after he became rich, and now he’s fronting Activision’s 5th installment of their dying cash cow they milked one too many times.

If Kurt knew he’d be polygonally immortalized wearing a cardigan and a shirt drawn by Daniel Johnston,  I’m pretty sure he would have never touched either ever in his life.  Maybe it would have been something a little less ESRB friendly.

So who’s really behind this commercial betrayal of everything Kurt?  Frances Bean?  I doubt it.  I’m looking at you, Courtney.

Sony must be shitting their pants right about now.  That Microsoft conference was amazing.  Seriously, how do you follow that?  Bringing out Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney to endorse the new ‘The Beatles: Rock Band’ was quite a move.  And its impact wasn’t mitigated even in the slightest by the presence of Yoko Ono!

The game looks spectacular.  It’s like the love-child of ‘Rock Band’ and Cirque du Soleil’s Beatles-themed show ‘Love‘.  On a side note, if you haven’t seen ‘Love’, you are really missing something.  It was one of the best Las Vegas shows I’ve ever seen in my life (and I have seen about 3)!  ‘Love’ was like the love-child of the Beatles and ‘Pink Floyd’s: The Wall’.   So when it comes down to it, ‘The Beatles: Rock Band’ is actually the love-child of ‘Rock Band’ and the love-children of the Beatles and ‘Pink Floyd’s: The Wall’.  You may be thoroughly confused, but nevertheless, it is a beautiful thing.

The game chronicles the various stages of the Beatles’ career, and replicates it all in stilted, poorly animated, low-resolution polygonal models.  No, wait, it’s much better then you imagine.

If you don’t believe me, check out this GameTrailers clip.

So, which member of the Beatles do you identify with the most?  I fancy myself as more of a George Harrison than the other three.  Soon I will get to test that notion from the comfort and privacy of my living room.

That is how you throw a grand opening celebration.  With a DJ mix that sounded like it was straight out of WOMB, we knew ROYAL/T pulled all the stops to kick things off right.  Even details like maids servicing the people lining up outside were not over looked.  Once inside, I do not think I was once without a cocktail, ranging from espresso martinis to some innocent looking fresh-squeezed watermelon concoctions that proved to be anything but innocent.

The art collection was straight out of the pages of Superflat, and will probably be easier to appreciate when ROYAL/T isn’t at max capacity like it was last night.  I can imagine this space (for lack of a better term) will be quite delightful when afternoon tea is being formally served by its attentive and doting staff.  But when they aren’t concerned about waking the neighbors, they can make you think you just stumbled out of a club in Roppongi Hills.

Just finished watching Group X: ‘Live from Cramshananteen’ on DVD. This was momentous on a couple levels. First off, I got to see ‘SchfiftyFive‘ and ‘Mario Twins‘ live. Second, they finally sent me something I purchased! Well, this is the second time actually, I did get ‘Stepping on the Crowtche owf Your American President’ my first attempt, but who’s counting? I guess they felt the same way the first time I purchased ‘Live from Cramshananteen’ and never received it.

I have to say it was well worth the wait (and the double payment). Who knew the Arabian Rap Sensations could rock so hard, or that Blade Razorr was blonde and from Georgia? The bonus material alone would have been enough to seal the deal. Where else are you gonna see Blade attempt to order from drive-thru windows, or hear him call a Chinese buffet and try to get free food for his entire extended family?

Group X ended their set with the crowd favorite ‘Mario Twins’, but by that point the band was sonically unraveling (they had already kicked out the entire audience during the previous song for not being silent during the counting of SchfiftyFive). I was half expecting for there to be some destruction of equipment ala The Who/Nirvana, but things ended fairly intact.

Big news for Group X fans everywhere: “Hashmeer reunite with Baind. New record writing. New Song ‘What to Use (Heiney on the Hepp)’ now being record for single release Aug 07).” “OPEN YOUR BREADHAND!!!”

So I was listening to Pandora Internet radio while I worked, as I occasionally do, and an ad filled in around the user interface. Normally these wrap-around banners are for something like Smirnoff Twist or the Baconator from Wendy’s.

I like bacon as much as the next guy, but it’s cruel to wrap a heavily photoshopped image of a hot juicy burger dripping with bacon around the Pandora’s now playing album section.

Luckily, this new advert was different. It was for Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80’s. Not only was it fairly attractive, it was not tempting me with virtual bacon, and it turned out to be quite useful. It politely offered the option of adding one of three shared 80’s radio stations: Rock, Punk, or New Wave.

These new pre-fab Pandora stations slot in right next to your own personal stations (you know, the ones that you have meticulously groomed for days-on-end with a litany of thumbs up or down). Who woulda thunk: cool looking video game ads, now bearing gifts! RedOctane’s marketing department has done their polygonal rock stars proud. This is some Pandora on Pandora action I can get behind.

Now for people to stop writing GH erotic fan fiction.