Posts Filed Under: microsoft

  • Life in LIMBO

    Posted: 07/19/2010

    In Catholic theology, the term limbo refers to the edge of hell, just outside of zipcode 666 — “hell adjacent” as it were. In the gaming world, this bleak monochromatic masterpiece is nothing short of double rainbow OMG!

    There are no health meters and no dialog to go along with the no colors. What you get instead is a truly scary, often times violent place to explore… as a young boy. If you found that scene where Frodo is being cocooned by a giant spider a little disturbing, prepare to live the experience.

    LIMBO rewards the nimble and quick thinking. There is a lot of dying, brutally, but the game never punishes you. You will be quickly giving it another go, only to realize your timing is still off, and that buzz saws and bear traps and little boys rarely mix well. This may be the best game you play all year.

  • E3 Hangover

    Posted: 06/26/2010

    Do you know what’s a bad idea? Free, all-you-can-drink Absinthe. Your night becomes a scene out of a Prodigy video. But, hey, we were drinking on Microsoft’s dime! And it’s not our fault they rented out the Edison for like a week. Damn you, Green Fairy and your intoxicating elixirs.

    What were we talking about? Oh, E3, where all the new games coming out in the next year are assembled — and you get to play them TODAY. The best way to enjoy E3 is to have zero responsibilities, and to be like a kid in a candy shop. But it’s a lot of work setting that up! Strategically used sick days, and calls to your well connected friends in the business. Only then can you fully enjoy the top-shelf Tanqueray martini in your hand as you watch zombie pole dancers gyrate seductively at the Dead Rising 2 party.

    But what about the games? Honestly, I don’t remember playing any. I’m even having trouble remembering the name of the band I saw pictured below, but I do remember liking them. I’m sure some other sites have some excellent quality gaming coverage, but again I have this thing about having zero responsibilities during E3. Welcome back, E3, you big, overblown, crazy spectacle you!

    Check out our E3 2010 gallery on our Facebook page.

  • The Beatles: Rock Band

    Posted: 06/01/2009

    Sony must be shitting their pants right about now.  That Microsoft conference was amazing.  Seriously, how do you follow that?  Bringing out Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney to endorse the new ‘The Beatles: Rock Band’ was quite a move.  And its impact wasn’t mitigated even in the slightest by the presence of Yoko Ono!

    beatles_rockband.jpg

    The game looks spectacular.  It’s like the love-child of ‘Rock Band’ and Cirque du Soleil’s Beatles-themed show ‘Love‘.  On a side note, if you haven’t seen ‘Love’, you are really missing something.  It was one of the best Las Vegas shows I’ve ever seen in my life (and I have seen about 3)!  ‘Love’ was like the love-child of the Beatles and ‘Pink Floyd’s: The Wall’.   So when it comes down to it, ‘The Beatles: Rock Band’ is actually the love-child of ‘Rock Band’ and the love-children of the Beatles and ‘Pink Floyd’s: The Wall’.  You may be thoroughly confused, but nevertheless, it is a beautiful thing.

    The game chronicles the various stages of the Beatles’ career, and replicates it all in stilted, poorly animated, low-resolution polygonal models.  No, wait, it’s much better then you imagine.

    If you don’t believe me, check out this GameTrailers clip.

    So, which member of the Beatles do you identify with the most?  I fancy myself as more of a George Harrison than the other three.  Soon I will get to test that notion from the comfort and privacy of my living room.

Featured Products

  • Walking Mira (cranberry)

    Walking Mira (cranberry)

    Maria and Mira just taking an evening stroll through beautiful downtown Silent Hill. Illustrated by lovely and talented Kinuko. Portion of the proceeds go to What's Up Dog LA via Press Paws.

  • The Mimic (orange)

    The Mimic (orange)

    Don't open that chest! It's actually a horrific thing that's hungry enough to eat you, armor and all. But ever wonder what's inside that horrific thing? The kaiju anatomy of a Mimic explains everything.

    Design by Dan Dussault and Meat Bun.

  • Ceaseless Discharge (black)

    Ceaseless Discharge (black)

    Back in high school, I used to listen to nothing but Ceaseless Discharge on cassette. Their earlier stuff was way better, but the Daughters of Chaos tour was the most metal show I've ever been to.

    Design by Dan Dussault and Christophe Szpajdel.

  • Pure Black Tendency (red ink)

    Pure Black Tendency (red ink)

    Show the world what a rotten, murderous soul you've become by proudly displaying your character tendency.

    Designed by Christophe Szpajdel.

  • Dash Princess (natural)

    Dash Princess (natural)

    In some darker alternate reality, Peach is the queen of the asphalt, leader of a gang of street tough Toads... and mortal enemy of Bowser's bikers. Safe for family functions.

    Designed by Dan Dussault.

  • Kotaku Logo (black)

    Kotaku Logo (black)

    This shirt can render literally hundreds of polygons — complete with colored bloom lighting — at 60 Hz without even having to tap into its math co-processor. Impress your friends with your FLOPS prowess.

    Kotaku logo 3D model by Patrick Gerrity.

  • Kotaku-tan II (black)

    Kotaku-tan II (black)

    Everybody loves sequels. So, Kotaku-tan is back, choosing the barbarian class and ready to smash trolls of all breeds with her bloody banhammer.

    Designed by Dan Dussault.

  • Snack Attack (natural)

    Snack Attack (natural)

    An immoderate indulgence of tasty Japanese treats, featuring the pixel art genius of Paul Robertson.

     

  • Formula Zero (tri-indigo)

    Formula Zero (tri-indigo)

    Show us your moves and your support of Team Falcon with this vintage — yet somehow time paradoxically futuristic — style F-Zero inspired tee.

  • Meat Bun Kart (natural)

    Meat Bun Kart (natural)

    Ha! Where's he going?! He's in his little car all "vroom." Haha. Guys.

    Designed by Maré Odomo.

  • Peel Out (banana)

    Peel Out (banana)

    A pissed-off ape with the skill to drive a car that's capable of launching an explosive turtle shell would be a terrifying thing, don't you fink?

    Designed by Nina "space coyote" Matsumoto.

  • Peel Out (black)

    Peel Out (black)

    A pissed-off ape with the skill to drive a car that's capable of launching an explosive turtle shell would be a terrifying thing, don't you fink?

    Designed by Nina "space coyote" Matsumoto.

  • Daytonabot (blue)

    Daytonabot (blue)

    "I make a lot of left turns, but I fight for what's right."

    HORNET lives for speed, finding true happiness while trading paint in a crowded stock car race. Considers himself a "high-class" racer, but has no problem getting his tires dirty. Excels at hand-to-hand combat and crack shot with a light phaser. With a rolling start, he can reach speeds of 201 miles per hour.

    Designed by Nina "space coyote" Matsumoto.

  • Daytonabot (black)

    Daytonabot (black)

    "I make a lot of left turns, but I fight for what's right."

    HORNET lives for speed, finding true happiness while trading paint in a crowded stock car race. Considers himself a "high-class" racer, but has no problem getting his tires dirty. Excels at hand-to-hand combat and crack shot with a light phaser. With a rolling start, he can reach speeds of 201 miles per hour.

    Designed by Nina "space coyote" Matsumoto.

  • Passing Breeze (sunshine)

    Passing Breeze (sunshine)

    Grab your girl, put the top down, crank up your favorite "Splash Wave" radio station and let the magical sound shower wash over you like a passing breeze...

  • Passing Breeze (white)

    Passing Breeze (white)

    Grab your girl, put the top down and crank up your favorite "Splash Wave" radio station and let the magical sound shower wash over you like a passing breeze...

  • Ninja Magic (black)

    Ninja Magic (black)

    Year three of most ninjutsu schools places a heavy emphasis on skateboarding. How else do you think Joe Musashi knew how to pull off all those sweet hoverboard moves in Return of the Ninja Master? Old Joe has no problem nailing a 720.

  • Ninja Magic (red)

    Ninja Magic (red)

    Year three of most ninjutsu schools places a heavy emphasis on skateboarding. How else do you think Joe Musashi knew how to pull off all those sweet hoverboard moves in Return of the Ninja Master? Old Joe has no problem nailing a 720.

  • Needlemouse (tri-blue)

    Needlemouse (tri-blue)

    I don't know. This one seems pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?

  • Needlemouse (tri-black)

    Needlemouse (tri-black)

    I don't know. This one seems pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?

  • The Year 20XX (black)

    The Year 20XX (black)

    Heavy Metal magazine and Hajime Sorayama taught us at a young age that, in the future, sexy lady robots will be the norm. Our tribute to foxy droid girls imagines one futuristic scenario in which The Guardian Legend and The Bride of Pinbot get it on.

  • Beautiful Spring (red)

    Beautiful Spring (red)

    Painted by a Chinese propaganda artist for Meat Bun, this poster reminds us: “Never forget enmity between the classes. Hold the gun tightly in your hands.” Part of the Communist Combo Pack.

  • 4th Gen (black)

    4th Gen (black)

    4th Gen is back! Proudly show off your love of the 16-bit era, gaming's Golden Age. Printed with silver foil and gold metallic ink. Now if I could only find my copy of Kizuna Encounter...

  • Ninjawarrior (blood red)

    Ninjawarrior (blood red)

    This Japanese ukiyo-e print reads: A revolution broke out and everything came to an end. The troubled country seemed to be finished by the death of the wicked machines. But peace did not come. Because ninjawarriors, they are the immortal murder machines.

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