Archive for: February, 2008
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Tyris Flare
Posted: 02/05/2008I remember reading some recent study suggesting that negative opinions of others had strong influence on the future opinions of people, but that the converse was not necessarily true. Now if this were a legitimate place for you to get factual information, I’d be obliged to footnote the previous statement, but since it’s not, we’re just gonna run with it and assume it’s true.
A perfect example of the negative/positive opinion correlation is the release of these new Golden Axe screen shots.

I loved this game back in the day. Tyris Flare was my character of choice, and I remember beating this game on a single quarter. I also remember the circumstances around it. I happened to be dating a girl… and her best friend at the time. Things were going fine until they both wanted to confront me (independently) at my local hangout, Grand Prix, which was an arcade/go-cart race track in Massachusetts. Girlfriend A found me first and said she wanted to talk, and I said sure… after I finish this game. I played the best Golden Axe of my life. Girlfriend A wasn’t able to stick around ’til the end, and said she’ll catch up with me later, leaving a few minutes before Girlfriend B showed up. Girlfriend B was witness to the final boss dying to the 6 fire potions I had saved up, beating the game in heroically frugal fashion.

Kotaku commentators loved these screenshots after a positive post about them. NeoGAF slammed the same shots after an initial negative post. I see both sides. Tyris has definitely aged well, and I love the new haircut, but this is the Next Gen™. I should be able to see if she adequately moisturizes and exfoliates after a hard day battling Death Adder.

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Furry Before Its Time
Posted: 02/04/2008
Wow. After being motivated to look up some clips on Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub Zero, per Scott’s recommendation, I came across this single screen of that Atari Jaguar attempt at… well, who knows what, but it’s Trevor McFur In The Crescent Gallery, a side-scrolling shoot ‘em up that followed in the vein of dozens of 90s “classics.” Render in Video Toaster or some shit, digitize and throw in some lens flare on top of a parallax style 3D scrolling background. I passed on the opportunity to pick up a Jaguar for $50 at some outlet store a few years and have never regretted it.
There are dozens of great screen shots of Trevor McFur on VGmuseum, showing that in the future, our military will be overrun by feline officers who look like humans from the neck down, but are pure kitty from the neck up. Amazing stuff. It would have a more substantial audience of furry fanatics today, now that so many of them are out of the closet and into fur suits.

A metallic cherub wielding a crossbow and sporting Wayfarers? This is the kind of shit that would have me transfixed outside a Babbage’s display window for hours. I find myself needing a Jaguar.
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